The Sarccastik Conjugate

Friday, June 30, 2006

Friday B4 the 4th...

What's goings on fam? Same ol' stuff going here. Okay, i found out that the guy that gave me a test (that was supposed to be a 2nd interview....let him tell it) called me on yesterday to meet w/his boss. So it sounds promising ya'll.....thanks again for the blog love and support. so i'm excited about that....it's friday ya'll (half of ya'll didn't show up for work...(that shows how crazy i am for being here...it's gonna be like a deadtown here at work).....okay let's scroll throw my favorite game on fridays....WHY DA' HELL....(i need like a gameshow soundtrack....):

WHY DA'HELL.....is there a big hoopla about this star jones vs. barbara walters...i didn't pay it no mind until yesterday when she was on the steve harvey show. okay, let's have some fun...who would you like to see in her place? My vote's are Monique or Kim Whitley...Monique would turn it out..(them white folks be scarred to say something wrong to her)....and Kim (her crazy azz will crack on you all night long....i know they don't want her...i always thought she was an attractive sista) but who are your votes?

WHY DA'HELL......they letting your girl Kimberly "Lil'Kim" Jones out...Queen Bee will be out on Monday b4 the 4th....how 'bout that....expect lil'kim to be on remixes everywhere....(the streets luv kim...the no-snitch campaign will carry her thru....that's my girl ya'll b4 the plastic surgery)

WHY DA'HELL.....Busta Rhymes beefin' w/his baby momma...it sounds like some craziness goings on....

Favorite track of the week: Number One by Pharrell ft/Kanye West....it's hot...it's a banga!!!! i know u heard this track missy aka newbooty aka negropino...(u got more aliases ....it's hard to keep up..lol...are you wanted by the blogfederallies...lol..)

EVERYBODY HAVE A SAFE, HAPPY AND ENJOYABLE 4TH!!!!! And like Star Jones on the View...I'M GONE!!!!!
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 7:33 AM 17 comments

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Alas...the interview

Okay ya'll thanks for your support. Your boy is trying to find a new gig, been beating the pavement for at least 3 to 6 months trying to find the right job. Okay, the guy tells me to be there @11:30am...okay i leave here around 11 (i just told my coworker, that i had problems with the car and going to get it looked at)...okay based on the directions this guy gives me it's going to be a piece of cake. Of course, it never works out that way, the directions he gives is old, they renamed a street i was supposed to turn on a couple of months ago. I'm thinkin' to myself okay STRIKE 1, okay update directions u give people PLEEEZEEEE!!!!! Okay i get there and he wants me to take an aptitude test of my skills and abilities...(i'm like this bullshyt already...) i knocked the test out...i think it was about 40 or 50 questions...i knew about 90% of the questions, so i'm like WHAT!!! SON, YOU CAN'T HOLD ME SON!!!! (sorry, some of my homeboys are from new jerz..sometimes it just slip out) so I'm like okay what's the next step. This guy is like , "Well, after we evaluate the test, it usually take 2 weeks to determine the right candidate"....STRIKE 2 i'm like okay here we go with this shyt....folks don't get me wrong, i am a patient guy but this company has hounded me for a month and a half...this is the first time they saw me....so i don't know about this ya'll....i'm still looking people are calling but it's a process....

This just reminds me of the Craziest interview i ever had....interviewing for a position for a hospital here in atlanta....the woman i interview w/ is from b'ham...a sista...so i'm like okay, this won't be too bad....we got to talkin' 'bout the job and personal life....then this where it gets interesting....i saw a rainbow kind of stapler or something crazy on her desk, she breaks out into this 15min tirade.."Oh Nooo Honey, I'm strickly dickly"...i'm like oh hell naw, i know i got this...she goes on to say, "Yeah, my family think i'm that way, but no sir...i luv the dick to much"...i'm like i can't script this anybetter....i probably could have "folded" her but naw...don't fuck where you eat....what was your craziest interview?
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 3:02 PM 19 comments

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Updates...

First 30 mins....what da hell was busta rhymes doing?...they went to break on his azz though hella funny!!!!

janet looks good...whatever she did...i was like damn!!!!!

stay tuned....

okay now that it's over....let's break down the good, the bad, and the show-stoppa's (showstoppers)...

The Good - To see Prince on tv is a good show more than anything...the tribute to Chaka was nice...wifey and lil'sarccastik was singin' "I'm Every Woman"...we had a good time...that was funny lookin' at my 2yr old trying to sing...Jamie and Fantasia was pretty decent, Nick Cannon and Katt Williams skit was funny....what did i miss ya'll? Oh yeah, after Puffy's mic eventually worked Yung Joc did pretty good reppin' the "A"...

The Bad - Okay i'm a fan of Damon Wayans on movies...stand-up NO!!...he killed the vibe in the first 10mins..i'm like aw hell naw!!! Okay back to Busta Rhymes (more on him later)...what was he trying to do...he came up and dappin' (shakin' hands) w/The Good Times crew...they shut him down, went straight to break, that was funny....

The Show-stoppa's - (1)Now damn, i rarely give props to who dresses nice on award shows (i'm lying...who can forget Jennifer Lopez and Toni Braxton gear) but Janet shut that bitch down!!!! I was like DAAAAAMMMNNNNNNN (looking like Craig and Smokey off Friday).....she looked good, and it blows my mind that she's with JD (Jermain Dupri) has anybody seen him...i was working @The Gap in Lenox in '99...i saw him i'm like that's JD...dude probably is about 5'5"...is that right...whatever he short as hell...(rumor has it that he like's things entering ANUSVILLE, USA)....for the people that's slow...(he likes things entering the exit region)...(that's a rumor...or is it?hmmm)

(2) - Busta Rhymes collaboration w/ Missy, Mary J.(like her part..that's ol'skool What's the 411?), Banks, Papoose (never heard of him b4)DMX (no-show),Rah-digga (that's my girl) and then Em shut it down...the sarccastik crib was rockin' off that track....i told wifey it was hot beforehand...she's a fan of it now....

What else did i miss fam? my interview is today...trying to think of an excuse to leave from 11:30-1pm...do ya'll have any?
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:35 PM 16 comments

Interviewing....


What's going on blog fam? Your boy is on the interview trail hard these days....just tired of this damn commute...it's crazy, it takes me 1hr 10-30mins to get home when i leave @4pm. So people have called me...had a phone interview w/Google....the problem with that is, i didn't know the Google founder name...(who cares...) sorry, i probably should've known that. That's probably why my damn blogspot has been getting too hard to get to...(hmm conspiracy). I've got a 2nd interview with this company that is exactly 11.9 miles (20mins) from your boy front porch. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout....Now i gotta figure out the best way to "sneak" outta here from 11:30am-1pm...just tell people here, that i got some personal business to tend to....i'm trying to come up with something clever...stay tuned...i'll keep you guys informed...wish me luck

This week's topics:

My boy crazy ass Ozzie Guillen goes off... his interviews are funny...

Do ya'll belive that Miss Khia (My Neck, My Back) got the audacity to diss Janet's new album....khia thought her lyrics on janet's album was deleted...she starts petitioning to the atlanta radios...aww hell ya'll read it...

This is funny...Babs from Bad Boy arrested...lol..

Ol'skool track of the week...Troop "Spread my Wings"...didn't they have a dance?...okay which one of ya'll had the Troop jacket? Mamacita was my joint....i'm gone...
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 12:03 PM 14 comments

Friday, June 23, 2006

An ode to "The Candy Lady"



Good morning, fam..it's Friday ya'll (of course i won't get into that tired tirade of singing that it's Friday...i know bad taste). The last couple of days, I was just thinking how it was to have a CANDY LADY in your neighborhood. We all had one or two ladies that just sold candy ($.01-$1.50), big ass pickles in the bag full of pickle juice($.50), sodas ($.25-$.75). An it was always packed wasn't it? Who can forget LEMON HEADS...or them big ass FIREBALLS, my favorite ALEXANDER THE GRAPE...You'd see all the kids from the neighborhood 'round the corner from yours. On a hot day like this....we'd be outside, have enough change to go the CANDY LADY and go buckwild. My favorite was the "Freeze cups", or what we used to call them in B'ham.."BE-BOPS", I don't know where that came from...but we used to call it that. Oh and who can forget the CANDY LADIES PRICE WARS...lol, CANDY LADY "MS. THOMAS be-bops were $.50 (in a big ass plastic cup) vs. CANDY LADY "MS.PEPPER be-bops were $.25 (in a small ass styrofoam cup)....it was a seller's market..(i don't know if you can use that term when it comes to price wars of freeze cups but hey...it's friday). MS.THOMAS had a "nerdy" looking son, we used to go there and "dunk" all in his backyard basketball goal...that was about 8 foot...we broke the goal at least 8 times during a 2 summers...until MS.THOMAS didn' let us come over to play...and of course we got older. Do ya'll know of any CANDYLADIES in your subdivision or neighborhood? i think the demand for that went out....i shol' (sure) miss you CANDYLADY

Okay what the hell is goings (going) on with this FBI Raid...are you serious? FBI arrests 7 in alledged terror plot....okay (um) firstly (got this from stilt crazy azz)......what da (the) hell? something ain't click'n to me about this situation...you telling me cats in "Liberty City" in dade county was talkin' 'bout a matter%
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 7:15 AM 13 comments

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Where ya at Wednesday's


Fam, what's going on...not too much, I was swamped this morning, now it looks like it calmed down a bit...(i might creep outta here early...since i was here til 7pm on Monday). Congratulations to the MIAMI HEAT!!! If it's anybody i'm happy got a ring is of course Dwayne Wade (D-wade, Flash), Gary Payton (GP, The Glove), Antoine Walker (Employee No.8), Alonzo Mourning ('Zo) and Jason Williams (J-Will, White Chocolate). I don't think it's a nickname for James Posey and Udonis Haslem yet....but of course I can't forget Shaquille O'Neal (Shaq, Diesel, The Big Aristotle, The Big Barishnikov....i can't think of any other aliases he has). Shaq is not like you used to be but it's the simple fact, you gotta respect him and put 2 people on big dude.

And I'm glad it's over, now i can got to bed at a normal time, this going to bed at 12:30am only to get up at 4:30am (gotta do my situps ya'll...it's the summer) has been killin' your boy...so i'm glad for that. I think the next thing going is the MLB playoffs....(i don't get into baseball until playoffs)...GO BRAVES!!! (Even though they've been stinkin' it up...losing 17 of the last 20 games)

Okay here's the lastest things going on with 50 Cent....(sheesh...it must not be a lot going
on)...beef w/bad boy


Snack of the Week: Little Debbie's Oatmeal Creme Pies...me and lil'sarccastik be killin'em...I can eat the whole box myself...what's your favorite snack? l

Track of the Week: Loyd featuring Tengo Redd "You"...that's not a bad track...oh snap!! i forgot did ya'll hear that new track from Lionel Richie...it's blazin..(my opinion) have a good humpday ya'll
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 2:54 PM 15 comments

Monday, June 19, 2006

Damn I hate Mondays ya'll


Thanks for everyone who stopped by and wished me a Happy Father's Day. I want to return the favor, Happy Father's Day to all who are the Mother/Father of their home. We tried to hit a movie but of course, all the movie times were crazy....we stopped by (I think it's called) Atlanta Steakhouse in Lithonia, by the Stonecrest Mall. We had a good time, just enjoying ourselves...I had some red wine ya'll w/my steak..pretty good. I'm trying to expand my taste by drinking some red wine with steak. The Bartender gave me a sample (it took all my might not to drink it all....mind you i'm playa 'bout myself)...tasted it i was like that's what i want w/my steak.

After the dinner, we wanted to hang out in the Buckhead district...i haven't done that in awhile...we went from club, to club...the gave me free shots of liquor.....it's a great time me and the misses...we did see somebody get the car towed...You got some "brass"ones to park next to a fire hydrant....so they got a rude awakening when they got back. We told them, they got the car towed...she didn't seemed that upset...She was like "okay thank you"....All in all, we had a great time, now for my blog family who are some wine consoures (i fukked that up but hey it's monday)....let me know what's the best wine...i need to expand my knowledge of wine.

Almost forgot to show ya'll this...DC pays for couples to marry....That's interesting...have a good monday.
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:14 AM 13 comments

Friday, June 16, 2006

I had writer's block for 'bout 45mins.....

Hey blog fam, it's Friday, it's Friday, last day of the week it's Friday, so sarccastik it's on u, now u watchu gonna do.....i'm gonna get my chill on, i'm gonna get my chill on, i'm gonna get my chill on....
okay for the folks not from the "A"Town, Ryan Cameron does that every Friday before signs off to talk about what u're gonna do for the weekend....it's corny i know but he's been doing it for awhile now...u know stuff that is so corny that i sticks in your head for no damn reason....my atl blog family help me out...(stilt,GP,nikki,kool,chris,ra...i know it's som 'mo folks i can't think of it right now)...ya'll let me know if i did that right....but anyway...me&misses painting the town red tomorrow night....it's our date night, she's gonna surprise me of the location....umm..lil'sarccastik has a toy microphone so she sings ABC's, 123's, itsey bitsey spider, twinkle, twinkle...it's the cutest thing....let's see what else is goings on....oh some questions for ya'll to ponder:

- How in the hell can i get this cheap tint off my car? We bought and accord that had some terrible tint on the back...(air bubbles and shyt...) Ya'll know some tips on getting it off w/o paying somebody?

- That Latoya girl..(from Destiny's Child)...Is she saying Pardon me or Part of me? Curious minds want to know...

- Is it me or that "Hoopz" chick from Flavor of Love, really ain't that "ooh wee" to me? She just look average to me....i've seen better...but would u belive their coming out w/Flavor of Love 2, i damn near drove my accord in a ditch when i heard that bullshyt....

- I like the "Men of the Round Table" Miller Lite Commercial.."Man Law"...let's see if we can come up with "Blog Law"....Bloggers of the Keyboard? That don't sound right...but you get the idea...since I'm still learning about the blogging culture...are their any blog laws I should know about? I know if a someone leaves a comment on your post, it's only right to visit theirs and do the same....are their any more?....have a good weekend!!!!
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:56 AM 24 comments

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Quick Points today...

1st point
Okay, there is just a few things I want to talk about today,Ya'll seen this commercial about this (i don't know what to call it) but it's called KFC Famous bowls or some shyt like that....My question to ya'll is, Are you telling me there was nobody black on the product design team and said, "Aww hell naw, Who ya'll thank gon' (gonna) eat that bullshyt?"...nobody said anything why do they think this is a good idea....Why would anybody want to eat corn, mashed potatoes w/gravy and cheese in one bowl...that's too much going on for me...

Okay now to my 2nd point, let's just say that you are the GM of the Cincinnati Bengals....Chris Henry, one of your backup athletes, have been arrested a couple of times since December, here are some of his charges:

- On June 4, he was stopped and charged with speeding and drunken driving on Interstate 275 in Clermont County. He registered a 0.092 on a breath test, above the legal limit of 0.08. He was traveling 82 miles per hour in a 65 mph zone.

- In January he was charged with carrying a concealed weapon after pulling a pistol on a group of people in Or- lando, Fla. He pleaded not guilty to the charge, and faces an Aug. 21 court date.

- In December 2005, he was arrested on marijuana charges in Kentucky. He avoided jail time by pleading guilty and agreeing to enter a drug rehabilitation program.

- On April 30, he purchased alcohol with three minors in his vehicle. One girl was 18, the other two people in the car were both girls aged 16 and 15 - their names were withheld. (Allegedly)

Would he stay with your team or would he go? My vote...he's gone...(another guy messing up an opportunity in the NFL)...but what's your vote?
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:49 AM 21 comments

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

People needing Risk Analysts

Good Morning, my blog family...I wanted to talk with u today about Risk Analysts. I wanted to get the specific job title and description down pack so here it is before I get off into my mantra for today:

Risk analysts identify and analyse the areas of potential risk threatening the assets, earning capacity or success of organisations in the industrial, commercial or public sector or private sector.

A couple of them dudes from the "Dem Franchize Boys" was arrested with more than 11 pounds of marijuana, $150,000 in cash, two handguns and a stack of pornography. (who cares about the porn tapes). Here's the video if you like....Damn fools!!!! They was trying to flush it down...they had too much weed, they got it all over the floor...that's funny....

My boys the "Youngbloodz" were arrested too....

Here's my correlation of the Risk Analysts and the rappers...these rappers need a guy to stand by the toilet, pay him minimum wage....all he do is successfully flush the contraband. This is an entry-level position that involves no...i take that back, that involves some creative thinking and hiding places for the "wood" (weed) and the "heat" (gun). Benefits: None.(medical, dental and life) but u get to smoke, drank and impress the ladies, "Hello, I'm the Risk Analyst for Dem Franchize Boys, my office of choice is next to a new white toilet to flush away any evidence"

Did ya'll here about folks from Katrina have sex changes and paying for divorces....don't know how true that is but wow..that's crazy....until next time ya'll...
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 9:46 AM 15 comments

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Fukk kinda shyt is this?!?!!??

Good Morning blog family...Already crazy stuff today..I'm driving to work feeling good, listening to my sports talk (I need to personally cuss ben rothelisbuerger...i know i killed his name but fukk it that's how i'm feeling...okay fool you decide to ride a suzuki w/o a helmet...i'll save more of my comments for later...can't you tell i'm a steeler fan)...I come to work early, smiling, speaking to people, saying the usual "Good Morning" slogan to everybody....then i check my email.....(insert dramatic theme here....) and i see this shyt:

Hi Sarccastik,

This is Adriana an old friend of yours from ASU. I got
your email from my cousin that went to ASU. I dont
know what to really tell you - to make you remeber me
except for that I am short / dark skin and I use to
hang out with a couple of girls from b'ham (Sierra and Hope). I hope that makes you remember me. But if
not, I just wanted to say hello and I hope you are
doing well. Take care and hopefully you will respond
to this email. Bye

Okay, now i'm like who the hell is this...and how did you get my work email...i don't remember sierra and hope...(either u drank w/me, smoked w/me or fukk w/me...either plutonic or fukk friends...i wouldn't remember u at all)...sorry...or could be a setup...(hmm...lookin' around the cubicle...) As my boy Snoop says, "I'm too swift on my toes"...ya'll know the rest...okay what's happening in the world:

The coming out with a with a sequel to Belly ya'll can't wait for that...i need to "cop" Belly....one of my favorites movies....

Okay this is funny...RL (Next) is signed to G-Unit Records and is dissing 112 and Jagged Edge...that's funny i needed a laugh today....ya'll have a good'ne (one) holla!!!!1

*************Why this morning I was looking at Adult Swim..and watch Mr.T cartoons....it was cheesy then and still is....(but i still watched all of it...damn, i'm embarrased to say...lol..)
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 7:27 AM 23 comments

Friday, June 09, 2006

I've been in training all week....

sorry about not posting anything....I've been in some solaris training all week and of course their netscape browsers were shot to hell...What's going on peoples? Let's see:

OJ making porn tapes....lol....(don't mind me i'm just bored....)

Crunchy Blakk left 3-6-Mafia...(I'm confused...he wasn't really laying down the bangin' lyrics or the beat so....who cares right?)

Luther (Uncle Luke) Campbell victim of hate-crime?...this is crazy...

Okay last weekend was a boys night out for me....i tell you what...that's the last time i miss liquor and beer.....(i can't drink like i used to ya'll)....i'm all laid out in Stroker's....ya'll know that's my joint... I'm takin' it easy this weekend ya'll...oh yeah...If ya'll haven't checked out the new Atlantic Station....ya'll trippin....it's nice as hell...That Fox Sports Grill is the new place to be!!!! Have a good weekend ya'll...be safe..
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 3:02 PM 12 comments

Friday, June 02, 2006

Other things I learned in school...

Often we go through remembering the most fun times in our life. For some, college can be a good thing or a bad thing. Here are just a few things I would never forget Alabama State University...boy i had some times....(I growed up in more ways than one in college)...

- When I was busted and disgusted (broke ya'll for the sarccastikly challenged..lol..) I would go into one of many buildings at do a midnight requisition (steal...like i should've done that grill...lol..but i digress) on toilet paper...i know ya'll laugh it up....but i was Hustlin' before Rick Ross....i think i only did it maybe 5 to 10 times...is that bad ya'll?

- Never mix light and dark liquor....i found that out quick my first year @state...whew!!!
- Be careful about drinking "Blue Bull"....it will definitely put u on your azz.....
- And I wasn't ashamed about hittin' a big gul (phat...big boned...whatever...BBW)...they always had money and food...
- As Kdee (former lenchmob associate w/ICE CUBE) used to say..."Ass, cash, or gas, No Free Rides"...folks just thought that the "grey ghost" was a free taxicab...hell naw shawt!!!!
- I can't eat Taco Bell or ramen noodles to this day.....i have to be in a mood for a Burger King Whopper...when they were $1...i used to rack up....
- Don't drink Cisco in the heat....or winter....aw fukk it...DON'T DRINK CISCO...it will put you on your azz...mos def....
- Last but not least....Be very, very careful about Paul Masson....whew...he will definitely kick your azz...have you drunk and passed out 12 hrs later....oh my damn!!!!

Songs this week...i'm diggin' that Gnarls Barkely "Crazy"....it's kinda hot...what are songs are your banga's? i'm a little out of the loop as far as the new hot tracks....

The memories....what have you learned either in college or life...that you (i wouldn't say ashamed of) are very careful and you've had experience with....have a good weekend my blog family....
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 3:18 PM 30 comments