The Sarccastik Conjugate

Friday, September 29, 2006

Sad news from the Rev. Run's House

Tragedy has struck the household of Joseph "Run" Simmons and his wife Justine after the couple's newborn child was pronounced dead shortly after its birth last Thursday. The legendary rapper of Run DMC fame was present at a Ridgewood, New Jersey hospital on Tuesday (Sept. 19) for the child's anticipated delivery. Both Simmons and Justine are popular figures on the family-oriented MTV reality show "Run's House," which also stars their children. The pregnancy was initially made public via the show and MTV cameras were filming at the hospital, according to The baby died shortly after being delivered. Representatives for The Simmons' were unavailable at press time. [Editor's Note: The entire Staff offers its sincerest condolences to The Simmons' family in this time of loss.]

For the full story log on:

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I'm sending my thoughts and prayers to them myself.
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 11:23 AM 11 comments

The Sissification Continues in America...

Damn shame they gon' cancel an entire football season in Michigan....

Michigan high school cancelling season

Okay...i got this idea from blah blah...

give me 2 honest questions...i'll answer them as truthfully as i can. What the heck it's friday what is everybody plans this weekend?
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:42 AM 5 comments

Thursday, September 28, 2006

T.O publicist may get a lot of negative press...

Ya'll know how the media is...and now i'm sure everybody has heard of Etheredge. She stood up for what she thought was the right thing....

hey whether it was the right thing or not...we don't know...we wasn't there.

Already Colin Cowherd (ESPN Radio) is already saying she had on hoochie clothes on..."What the hell does he know about hoochie clothes?" I wish her well because the medis is going to run her under the bus....i hope she stays as his publicist...if not..oh well!!!

The sex in the dark is hilarious....

Leaving ya'll with some jokes...

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there.

Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam the bottom and pulled him out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell her the news, he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since u were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses". "The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he's dead".

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry"

Sex in the Dark
>There was this couple that had been married for 20
>years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting
>off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
>She figured she would break him out of this crazy
>habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
>romantic session, she turned on the lights.
>She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated
>leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
>She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bas*^# she screamed!

How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain
>The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain
>the toy . . you explain the kids."

posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 10:00 AM 2 comments

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

As Terrelle Owens Turns...

I don't know if anybody got a chance to watch the "circus" that happened today or what. But I know one thing...I am tired of watching this man on TV. I don't know whether to believe if he took 35 pills or what. But when I heard it, I was like, "Lawd Jeezus"...they(media) gon' talk about his all day long....

The publicist and T.O. got their stories straight and proceeded to entertain the media 2 hrs after getting released from a hospital. (Damn I need to be somekind of sports beat writer)

Do any of you believe any of I need to do a weekly NFL Smoking Gun.....and away we go:

Odell Thurman was going to play next week...instead he will be suspended a year. How in the hell do you manage to fukkup playing football and take advantage of the situation. And guess who was in the car with Odell....none other than Chris Henry (already arrested 5 times)...So the first thing that comes to mind..."Try to get catch me riding dirty"...thanks Chamillionaire.....Let me be in his shoes and I promise i'll know what to do with his money. Ya'll won't (will not) here a peep from me..."Dang Sarccastik got his own island"...Ballin' outta control...

Terrence Kiel was about to ship 2 cases of codeine to Texas...hmm wonder what that was about. What can you do with codeine? I don't know....i don't know if i've ever taken it....let me know ya'll....

It's getting crazy...more NFL players do dumb stuff...and like Odell Thurman...I'm gone!!!
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:15 PM 6 comments

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Funny wedding...

If ya'll ever need a wedding have got to get the Tyrone Smith Revue. This dude has got to be in his 60's and he is wide left field..hoping, jumping...gyrating....of course, i wasn' t going to let him gyrate in front of my table...(slow down..i'm a grown ass man)...but he is worth the ticket of admission...he had that crowd going....

Best movie this weekend....Lucky Number's going to remind you off...The Usual Suspects...(don't tell nobody it took me about 19 times to actually understand what the hell was going on in that move...damn Keyser Söze....Ya'll have got to see this movie...Lucky Number Slevin ranks just under The Usual Supects...what did ya'll do this weekend?

And the rest was watching football...and listening to my 2yr old all weekend wherever we go..."Daddy Are we They Yet?"...even though we just left our's cute..."No sweetie, we are not there yet"...
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:09 AM 9 comments

Thursday, September 21, 2006

5 Straight Ramblings....

Why the hell would I need WI-FI access in Donut Connection?

I never heard of this shop until i moved to GA.

I need to come out with a book for dummies in ordering fast food.

Damn, U saw the price before you ordered u thought it the VALUE MEAL would change prices magically?

Why I'm scared to see how much this TMX Elmo or whatever it is cost?

Give me 5 straight ramblings from ya'll straight from the dome!!!!
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 2:23 PM 12 comments

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I need Ya'll advice....

This is a trade proposed to me....i'm thinking no but would like som extra feedback. I'm Brown Hornets II

Hey sarccastik,

This trade has been proposed to you in Chopped & Screwed pt2 .

Brown Hornets II
R. McMichael
[ View Trade ] A. Boldin

You can accept, reject or counter this offer by going to your team page (if you do not see detail about this trade on the page, then it has been cancelled by the manager who originally proposed it).

--Fantasy Football Commissioner
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 7:29 AM 5 comments

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly Sports Newsletter

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly....

The Good....How 'bout those Falcons baby??!!? Rushing for 300 yards against Gruden and his foul-laced mouth...Way to go Gruden...just kick your young QB down even more. The way Gruden cussed him out you would think that Simms said something about his mama. I'm happy about Alex Smith and his big-time win over the St. Louis Rams. I thought he was a good QB coming out of college. How 'bout Miiichigan (i meant to do that) stompin' the daylights out of Notre if i hear another Brady for Heisman i'm gonna croak....Happy for Chris Leak getting a win in a hostile environment

The Bad....Damn Maurice Clarett.....There should be a movie about his rise and fall....I'll offer to play the lead if they need do you go from scoring the GW Touchdown in the NCAA Football National gettin' your "Goose" on....(jokes..i know in they're in bad taste but what the hey..) with guns and now getting 3 1/2 yrs....Oh...those damn Pac-10 officials...i hope it was worth cheating Oklahoma (though i'm no fan..i gotta friend that i had to rub it in) We might need to check their bank see if there are any huge lump sum deposits, you know, "friends" slipping them some fully pack thank-you cards. I'm glad they were suspended 1 game, everybody needs to be held accountable for their actions. (Though i'm not suggesting that's the reason Oklahoma lost)...The mighty Carolina Panthers relegating to "trickeration" to win against the Vikings. Hmm let's see..if you were so mighty you wouldn't have to go to trick plays...especially a dumb one!!!!

The Ugly....Will this be the theme every week about the Raiders (next week a break...they will have a bye)? Have they become the "Bad News Bears" of the NFL? And Al Davis is Walter Matthau (lol...the original is hilarious...i need to see the one with Billy Bob Thornton) It just looks like a comedy of errors out there with Oakland...On my fantasy squad, any defense playing the raiders i'm getting.....if they was playing the Middle Eastern Lawn Mower 125lb League...i'm picking them up...just blitz!!!!! Those damn Miami Hurricanes who have the audacity to "stomp" on the Louisville bird....they got "stomped" out of the Pizza Box (Stadium is called Papa John Stadium). They no longer intimidate anyone anymore. Kyle Wright needs to get benched....Does Coker have a lovefest for Kyle Wright? I'll investigate the backup of Wright and start sending anonymous suggestions to the Miami faithful to see.

And like The Pac-10 Officials and Replay Officials.....I'm Gone!!!!!!!

Okay let's talk about our Firsts...

First Beer - Red Stripe...(Hooray Beer) 11th Grade ..told ya'll i was a late bloomer
First Liquor - Red Dagger (what was up with my fascination of things red...oh i did wanna pledge nupes...but whatever) 12th grade
First Joint - Freshman year in college...i was wide open son!!!!

What was your firsts?
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:07 AM 10 comments

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Be careful on what you put on Myspace

Cops: Woman Tried to Set Up 'Hit' of Female on Boyfriend's MySpace Page
Thursday, September 14, 2006

MESA, Ariz. — A 22-year-old woman was arrested after authorities say she tried to hire someone to kill another woman whose photo appeared on her boyfriend's Web page.

Heather Michelle Kane was booked Tuesday for investigation of conspiracy to commit murder, Mesa Detective Jerry Gissel said.

She was arrested after she met an undercover Mesa police detective at a grocery store, gave the officer $400 and offered to pay an additional $100 once the woman had been killed, according to court records.

The records say Kane gave the undercover officer photographs taken from her boyfriend's social networking Web page of the woman she wanted killed. She also requested a photo of the woman's dead body.

It wasn't clear if the boyfriend and the targeted woman were romantically involved, Gissel said.

Editor's Note: News Corp. is the parent company of, FOX News Channel and

posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 3:31 PM 14 comments

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

It's my b'day...

what'up's your boy b'day..i'm taking it easy....this weekend, i'll chill out and find some football game or's what's happening this weekend in Atlanta....

For Sisters Only Convention.....bruhs if you want to see some stallions/stunners/first round draft picks...supastars...they will be here this weekend...

Can somebody tell me what happened with Jacque Reid on the Steve Harvey Show?!?! My Good, Bad and Ugly from NFL this past weekend:

it's time for my weekly scan around the NFL globe...

The Good....Football is here...Football is here....Thank ya....Football is here...Quick points. Atlanta looked good running down Carolina 's throat....your boys the Eagles looked great, I think they will get back to the top of the NFC with that performance. Kudos to Steve McNair (SWAC Alumni) looked good, we always knew he had the talent just give him time and some weapons around him....i hope he holds up this season. The Ravens D looked good. Is it me or is Shawn Merriman a man among boys!!!

The Bad.....Chris Simms...did he think he was playing Oklahoma ....he probably thought that was Roy Williams coming around the side to blitz....they looked horrible. The rest of the league might be in trouble when they see your boy Ray Lewis (Killa)...sorry..i think my hand slipped on that one.... Carolina is Vanilla...Delhomme slamming the ball down and cussin' everybody out is bad!! i always thought he was overrated just had a pretty good team around him. The way to beat Carolina .....DESTROY DELHOMME!!!! get him to cuss out his line and everything in sight....

The Ugly......I stayed up and watch at least close to the first half of that deplorable Oakland game. As much as I am (secretly) Raiders fan...they look bad...i heard Joey Porter was laughing when Brooks was being sacked for the 9TH TIME!!!!!...Do you know that Oakland offensive coordinator was out of the league for 9yrs...he owned a bed and breakfast or something...great pick up Shell...a guy who knows alot about soft on was reading when Shell was there in '94 when Jeff Hostetler was calling his own plays....that was the confrontation that we saw when Jeff and Art Shell got into a verbal argument on the sidelines...

And like Art Shell....(he won't last a year...i'll be surprised if they score) I'm Gone!!!!! (Sorry Raiders's the truth)
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 8:35 AM 17 comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

Driving while nude in Wendy's

did ya'll here about this detroit assistant coach bukked naked in wendy's drive thru...

Naked Ass Ordering Number 2 W/Cheese Coach in Drive-Thru

okay we know this fool was driving will nude (DWN)... in a drive thru...we found out he's suspended for the first game this weekend but what they are just releasing is this is a pattern...

Cullen, who was fired from the University of Mississippi in March 2005 after being arrested for public drunkenness in a restaurant, has sought help and is getting "treatment," Lions officials said.

Okay so he has a history of getting drunk around food...Food fetish maybe? i don't know...I can guarantee you this Wendy's will start adopting a fully clothed service in drive thru regulation now.....

And like Mike Cullen's clothes....I'M GONE!!!!!!
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 2:11 PM 10 comments