The Sarccastik Conjugate

Recently, a coworker and myself decided to get some wings before the christmas break. D (the coworker) is married guy w/ kids...so we have pretty much the same mentality when it comes to sports, women and family. He's also from Alabama, like myself, so at one point in time we had a small mentality until moving here in Atlanta. Married guys chit-chat is pretty much the same as single guys talk, except that there are kids involved, and you talk more about that fine azz project mgr. that we saw in a meeting. But anyway, we stopped in to get some wings, ordered, sat down waiting on the menu to go...we scanned the place, there were a couple of women around, some sitting together, one sitting alone (but kept walking past us about 5 times...she was okay....probably some 3rd shift action*), and another sitting with about 4 guys. After they finished eating, the sista w/ the 4 guys walked out...only to walk back in and say this to D..."i know you, aren't you michelle's father (changed the name)....D startled...was like "Uh, yeah, i'm sorry, what's your name.....she said her name..i couldn't remember it...they talked for a brief moment....then the woman left....i was laughing hysterically.....i said boy, you lucky your wife wasn't here....d said...you ain't lying......that would have been awkward.....we laughed and joked about it because....if you thought about doing dirt here in the A-Town...you would get caught up w/ the quickness.....Perfect example.....couple of years ago kicked it a bachelor party with my homeboy who was getting married.....the strippers that came...let's just say...she took care of everybody in the place......they were WIDE OPEN.....I MEAN LEFT FIELD.....that's another story....a week later...WHY THE FUKK did i see that same stripper in publix...right down the street from where me and my wife lived in an apt.....she came thru the front door we were at the register...i looked up....we both had that OH!! SHYTTT!! LOOK....me being cooler than the other side of the pillow (ICE COLD, YA'LL)...continued to empty our buggy with my wife next to me...she didn't pick up on it at all....A-Town is too small to do dirt.....All the women here in the A, you surely would get caught....and i'm laughing at your azz when you do.....

I went home for Thanksgiving...(should have wrote about this when i got home)..... home for me is Birmingham, Alabama....the Magic City. Anyway, we usually go to my grandmother's house for Thanksgiving, everyone comes over to eat, drink, watch football and be merry. I got to see my cousins, 1st and 2nd, some of my grandmother's friends, (Mrs. P and Mrs. C) whom myself and my wife enjoyed a good battle of spades before....(and can cheat...damn near in her 70 yrs old)....anway....i saw my first cousin....their married with a 7 month old baby....baby "A" is a cutie....my daughter who is 20 months going on 5...says to baby "A"...."that's a baby".....my daughter is funny.....need to put her into stage....anyway...we all had a good time over my grandmother's house everybody went their separate way....
Now you know the day after the holidays....that's when all kinds of family business comes out....to make a long story short, we come to find out that my cousin and her husband are being handled like puppet....my cousin....i'll say her name is, "little e"..and her husband is "big e"....big e's mother has volunteered to watch baby "A"...big e's mother is happily retired and would love to watch her granddaughter.....what grandmother wouldn't.....sounds like the logical plan doesn't it....BUT NOT SO FAST!!!!!.....i don't know where the hell that came from....but here's where the shyt hits the fan....little e's mother don't want big e's mother to babysit.....confused....my wife and i were too.....so what the E's are doing is taking the child to daycare.....the baby's been getting sick all the time....my wife and i noticed that evertime we see baby A...she's looking doped up....but she still plays w/ my little one....the baby keep's getting ear infections...i think they had surgery for the baby A....i thought i overheard that.....but isn't that crazy....WHY IN THE FUKK? would you put your baby throught that constantly.....i'm waiting on big e to say something...he ain't said nothing yet....but there is no way in hell i wouldn't say anything....little e's mom has been nuttin' up the whole time they've been together.....didn't light the unity candle at their wedding....our grandmother lit the candle and now this.....we (family and my wife) can't figure out why little e's mom doesn't want big e's mom to babysit the child for free.....they don't have to pay for anything.....they are paying double for daycare and hospital bills for baby a....this was the craziest thing i heard.....big e needs to cuss out little e's mother....because i can not fathom not saying anything if my baby is constantly getting sick...and my mom can watch the baby for free.....no other kids at my mom's house.....much as i want to tell big e what's up....that's not my business.....i'll pray for them....crazy as shyt though...