The Sarccastik Conjugate
Monday, July 17, 2006
Finally getting 'round to the SEX MEME...
How was everybody weekend? I hope was safe and sound....okay ya'll know i still didn't get my offer letter....what kinda BS is that? TTD help me out...how long did it take? Anyway, all that stuff we said we was gonna do...never happened...we rented movies, had an HOA (home owners assc.) meeting...damn all those mofos in my house....but it was cool talkin' about these bad azz kids we got. But anyway, i talked to the Mgr. at PT, my background check comes first (why didn't HR Slacker say that last week?) then an offer letter....so the check should come hopefully today, but in the meantime i'm still looking around for another job just in case that don't pan out (i'm clean, i don't have anything negative on my background check....or do i?hmmm) but i'm finally getting to do a TAG....(u know this is my first tag ever)....SUCKAS!!!!!
1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2006? YES SIRR!!!! (wifey keeps me happy in that dept.) oh boy!!!!
2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? yep...bushes at the shakespeare festival in the gump (Montgomery, Alabama)....what can i say....she dared me!!!! I'm from B'ham Beeeyotttch!!!
3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? No never did that....
4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Fukk kinda question is that....I'M A GATOR!!!!
5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? Naw...not really...give me 50ft...
6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Absolutely...when i was single and batting .153 for the month....sheeeee...anything is on as long as they understand that they are 3rd shift material....
7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Yep....same girl as in #2...she got on my nerves....
8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?...it don't matter to me...i'm flexible...
9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX:....yep...wasn't happy about it...but hey...u live and u learn, since that one hiccup....i was rockin' the starters (jimmy) all the time...
10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? hell naw...boy these questions are all left field...ain't they..
11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? well not really....i hit 'cross the 2nd day...the first day, i met newjerz gapmouth after leaving a job fair...she needed a ride to the marta station...i drove her 'round (she was new to atl)...the 2nd day...she was like "U wanna fukk or what"....i was like oh boy!!!!!
12.How about a 3-some?...never had it....would love it once...
13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Absolutely...positions down packed to a tee!!!
14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? well this goes back to #6....thinking of kenya moore...
15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE? yep...more than once...in my heyday...
16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? having the table break...chic fell off the couch....ramming the bedpost against the walls...at 3am roomates woke up...and bang on the wall...that was funny...
17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 21...yep a late bloomer
18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?...wifey...i need to call her for a nooner...
19. DO YOU THINK THAT number 18 IS POSSIBLE? she did say she was gonna make it out here close to my job...
20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? Virgo men are always horny!!!!
21. WOULD U HAVE SEX WITH THE PERSON THAT POSTED THIS? mabye in another lifetime....
22. Have your ever called your partner somebody else's name?...i'm not big in the screaming a name out..unless your name is "DAMN....SHIT!!!"....
i'll keep you guys posted.....
1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2006? YES SIRR!!!! (wifey keeps me happy in that dept.) oh boy!!!!
2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? yep...bushes at the shakespeare festival in the gump (Montgomery, Alabama)....what can i say....she dared me!!!! I'm from B'ham Beeeyotttch!!!
3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? No never did that....
4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Fukk kinda question is that....I'M A GATOR!!!!
5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? Naw...not really...give me 50ft...
6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Absolutely...when i was single and batting .153 for the month....sheeeee...anything is on as long as they understand that they are 3rd shift material....
7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Yep....same girl as in #2...she got on my nerves....
8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?...it don't matter to me...i'm flexible...
9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX:....yep...wasn't happy about it...but hey...u live and u learn, since that one hiccup....i was rockin' the starters (jimmy) all the time...
10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? hell naw...boy these questions are all left field...ain't they..
11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? well not really....i hit 'cross the 2nd day...the first day, i met newjerz gapmouth after leaving a job fair...she needed a ride to the marta station...i drove her 'round (she was new to atl)...the 2nd day...she was like "U wanna fukk or what"....i was like oh boy!!!!!
12.How about a 3-some?...never had it....would love it once...
13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Absolutely...positions down packed to a tee!!!
14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? well this goes back to #6....thinking of kenya moore...
15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE? yep...more than once...in my heyday...
16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? having the table break...chic fell off the couch....ramming the bedpost against the walls...at 3am roomates woke up...and bang on the wall...that was funny...
17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 21...yep a late bloomer
18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?...wifey...i need to call her for a nooner...
19. DO YOU THINK THAT number 18 IS POSSIBLE? she did say she was gonna make it out here close to my job...
20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? Virgo men are always horny!!!!
21. WOULD U HAVE SEX WITH THE PERSON THAT POSTED THIS? mabye in another lifetime....
22. Have your ever called your partner somebody else's name?...i'm not big in the screaming a name out..unless your name is "DAMN....SHIT!!!"....
i'll keep you guys posted.....
posted by The Sarccastik Variable Why at 10:52 AM
17 Comments:
does your wife read your blog, lol?
INteresting #22..not too many ppl did it...
and NO i didnt beat that ducks ass....she wasnt worth my time nor dime.......
LOL..I wonder if your wife is as funny as you are sometimes...I'm sure she is though
Hope you get the letter pretty soon sometimes they make you wanna go up there and demand it on hand LOL...
Ay cuz... I'ma have to borrow this joint one day. Shots to da 'Ham...my momz-n-em from Talledega. So you know...
I didn't get hit with that last question when this came aroudn to me...but to answer it...yea *shrug*
*Sarccastik: I did it, now get off me*
***update**************
all those answers were BW (before wifey) unless said otherwise....
@stilt - she occasionally reads it from time 2 time
@ill - i'm might have to take your gangsta card
@HL - you don't know how much we crack each other up...we both have a look and one already knows what the other is about to say.....
*****as they say "Great minds think alike"...lol...
lol@ #19. Sometimes I wanna be married. I posted the same post today.
lol.. maybe I'll do this since I wasn't tagged LOL on a day when I have nothing to say
What it do VIRGO!!!!
I have to rea this one very very slowly:)
....And go!
LMAO@#6 "Absolutely...when i was single and batting .153 for the month....sheeeee...anything is on as long as they understand that they are 3rd shift material...."
third shift? BWWWWAHAHAHAHA! you right though...when times are rough and the coochie is scarce, sometimes a brotha just gotta do what he gotta do. that's why i always make sure i've got a brotha in the wings. wait...i don't have one of those right now...
Finally, another man that will admit to faking an orgasm. When I did this, I caught a lot of slack for that question.
4 and 22, is too funny. I didn't know that a man could fake an orgasm. After having a real one the penis shrink...how'd you get away with that?
This seriously made me blush! and I am far from a prude. I will be skipping this tag!
Your tag had me cracking up! I hope the HR lady gets her ish together so you can start a new job!
I knew a man that faked an orgasm..........:)
I'm feeling you on #22...LOL!
Dang, about time...the long awaited meme...
*lol* @ #22...
Yes, its true, Virgos ARE always horny...is that why I like them so much, other than their assholic qualities?...
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